It’s been two days since the Supreme Court decided to overturn the Roe V Wade ruling which has been part of our nation for the last five decades, and you can already feel that our country is different. By different, I, of course, mean worse.
Continue reading “Well, if you’re just going to come right out and tell us you’re horrible fascists…”
At the time I’m writing this, President Joe Biden has an approval rating, according to the FiveThirtyEight site, of 41.8%, and that is not a good number. It’s not the worst his approval ratings have been at, but I don’t see it taking any monumental changes anytime soon. It appears that Biden will have the same fate of former President Trump, whose approval rating always seemed to stay between 40-43%.
Liberals are disappointed with him because he’s unable to do any of the things they want him to do because of the razor-thin Senate majority. Conservatives hate him because their hearts are mostly empty, like the Grinch in the beginning and middle of the book. The media doesn’t like him because they cannot fill their day like they did with Trump. This is just speculation, but I bet even the White House chefs don’t like him, because he seems like the kind of motherfucker whose idea of a perfect meal is just plain white rice and a glass of tap water.
We all don’t like the dude. But we also knew that when we elected him.
Continue reading “You Can Receive 81,282,632 Votes And Still Have Nobody Like You”
If your social media is anything like mine, the last half week has been filled with people angry at President Biden’s announced vaccine mandate. To summarize in case you haven’t picked up the internet: if your business has over 100 employees, they all have to be vaccinated or tested weekly or your business could suffer financial penalties.
“Tyranny,” some have cried out. “This is pure madness by a government gone wrong!” Granted, most of those people have been big gaping sacks of dumb, but they have a voice and we should consider what they’re saying. After all, we have to accept that there are people who just aren’t going to get vaccinated.
Not only that, but there’s good news: those same dummies crying “Tyranny!” are the same numbskulls who are going to fix another one of our nation’s current problems. I’ve figured it all out.
You’re welcome.
Located 22 miles west of Chicago, Elmhurst is a town with a little over 44,000 people in it. They’re a town probably a lot like yours, with business and commerce and art and parks and a post office. They also have a Facebook group which contains some very opinionated people. Like… REALLY opinionated.
It’s a little intense.
Continue reading “I Solve All Of Elmhurst, Illinois’ Problems (you’re welcome)”
We’re just six days away from the election. I thought I would answer some questions you may have about the election, what you can do, polling, and a bunch of other fun stuff. Let’s get into it.
Continue reading “Election 2020: All Of Your Questions Answered!”
By any metric, these last few weeks have been bad for the Trump presidency.
Over the weekend, President Trump attempted to get back on the campaign trail with a stop in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and it was poorly-attended. Twice in three days, members of the administration have had to find ways to justify the President’s use of the term “kung flu” to describe the coronavirus, which is still around despite what some GOP governors may have been telling you. The lone victories in the past ten days or so came from the President bragging that he was successfully able to walk down a ramp (on twitter) and drink a glass of water with one hand (in Tulsa). This kind of seems like the bar for presidential excellence is being set a tad low.
And yet, if I had to wager my last $100 on who would win the election in November, I would bet that Donald Trump would be re- elected.
Continue reading “Election 2020: Learn From Your Mistakes”
Fancy Boys Club 