Cowboys – Fancy Boys Club

Can Your Team Win the Super Bowl: A Guide for Non-Fans

January 9, 2024January 8, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Congratulations, well adjusted adult. You have just spent the past four months spending your Sundays doing repairs around the house, going to brunch with friends, foraging for various vegetables you could purchase at the grocery store instead, or whatever hobby you developed that doesn’t involve you screaming at a TV. As a non-football fan, you have been able to funnel your anger and love and frustration into things that could be construed as a hobby, like splunking.

The calendar has flipped to the second weekend of January now, and that means the NFL playoffs. Mere weeks away from the Super Bowl. Legally, you are obligated to care then. So why not jump on the football bandwagon now. It’s kind of like The Golden Bachelor, only a somehow less depressing look at mortality.

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NFL, Sports

NFL Power Rankings: End of Season Edition

January 8, 2024January 8, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

With the season coming to the end and the playoffs coming up this weekend, it’s time to take a look at where every team stands. More than half of the league is now looking towards Free Agency and the NFL Draft. Some teams don’t have those things to look forward to because they are poorly run and/or have the worst ownership in sports.

I’m listing where I had each team ranked before the season started so I can see how smart (editor: stupid) I was when looking at the teams a few months ago.

1: Baltimore Ravens

Preseason Rank: 6

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Sports

FBC 2021 NFL Preview: NFC East

August 23, 2021August 21, 2021by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Oh yes. oh god, yes. I do these previews every year for one reason. To just asolutely shit on this moribound, pathetic division. Every team in this division deserves to be thrown into low orbit. Their pure existence is proof that bad things exist. It is the Nickelback of football divisions. The Guy Fieri of teams that don’t deserve the national television love they get.

Now would be a good time to remind everyone that the winner of the NFC East had a 7-9 record. Even in a division this bad, nobody in this godforsaken bracket could get fat enough of playing these terrible teams to get to a .500 record. None of them deserved to make the playoffs and at least Washington had the good sense to fuck off quietly in the first round to the eventual Super Bowl champions. But my god. The amount of trash you have to set on fire to burn the energy needed to make this epileptic syndicate of garbage teams with even bigger dirt bag ownership is almost unprecedented.

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Sports

Fancy Boys NFL Power Rankings Week 2

September 10, 2019September 10, 2019by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

32 teams started their season this week. 31 team will continue on, while the Miami Dolphins are getting immediately relegated to the Big East conference, where they will play University of Connecticut and Syracuse, and probably lose to the University of Pittsburgh.
Some things were expected, like the Chiefs winning and Jameis Winston being terrible. Elsewhere, the Chargers and Seahawks escaped with victories, while the Jaguars lost their quarterback, the Giants unfortunately still have theirs, and the Cardinals and Lions took turns trying to prove who deserved to win less. Let’s get into it!

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