Brandon’s 100 Greatest Television Shows of All Time

Recently, Variety released their 100 greatest television shows of all time. And let me tell you…it was asssssssssssss. It was bad enough that i’ve come out of semi-retirement to write about it. If you do something so egregious as to make I Love Lucy as the greatest show of all time, you had better believe i’m going to write about it.

I’ve decided that I, and I exclusively I, am uniquely qualified to write my own list of the greatest shows of all time. What credentials do I have? Go to Hell! Those are my credentials!

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The Top 25 Songs Of 2023

The Top 25 Songs Of 2023

2023 was, by all indicators, an incredibly horny year for pop music.

Maybe there was some kind of full moon or maybe this is the first time people are feeling more safe in public spaces post-COVID. But, goodness gracious, if you had a pop star making an album, they were- as the kids would say- DTF. Because of that, this year’s batch of songs feels like they need a cold shower. However, there is still plenty of good stuff here.

The year wasn’t all about sexy sexy time. There were also great songs about loss and heartache and anger. As always, there was tons of good music if you knew where to look for it.

Here are the 25 best songs of the past twelve months:

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Rocktober Roundup: Some Of It Was True by The Menzingers

Rocktober Roundup: Some Of It Was True by The Menzingers

To start their fifth record, 2017’s After The Party, Scranton’s The Menzingers gave us the blistering track “Tellin’ Lies”, with it’s simple, oft-repeated sing-along chorus: “Where we gonna go now that our twenties are over?” Guitarist-singer-songwriters Greg Barnett and Tom May have always spent most of the band’s songs in that anxious grey area wondering when they were going to have to grow up, what that would look like, and what it would mean. And while I believe After The Party is the band’s best album, here we are now in 2023. The Menzingers are now all well into their fourth decade of life, and have a new album, Some Of It Was True. So what has changed now that the band’s twenties are, truly over?

Thankfully, not much.

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Rocktober Roundup: Guts by Olivia Rodrigo

Rocktober Roundup: Guts by Olivia Rodrigo

Olivia Rodrigo is only twenty years old as Guts, her second album and follow-up to the massive success Sour, got released last month. It’s an immature and bratty mess of an album, but I don’t say that as a bad thing. In fact, all of those things show an intelligence to her that many of her peers did not have at her age. When she sings, “I know my age and I act like it” on opening track “all-american bitch”, she is not fucking around. It’s a promise and a threat and for her sophomore attempt, she follows through on it.

This is all to her credit.

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Grappling with the most popular song of 2023 in 16 listens

Grappling with the most popular song of 2023 in 16 listens

It is rare that something that is culturally dominant somehow slips by me. However, apparently this was the summer of Morgan Wallen’s “Last Night”, and I didn’t even know. I’ve never even heard the song. I’m clearly in the minority.

Six days ago, “Last Night” was the #1 song on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the sixteenth week in a row. In doing so, it set the record for the longest running song at #1 for a non-collaboration in the 65-year history of the chart. If Wallen’s song can keep it’s streak going for number one, it will set the record for the longest time on top of this chart for all songs. And since the Hot 100 measures streaming, sales, and radio plays, to have this record would make the country tune, in my opinion, the most popular song of all time.

I would like to point out again that I have never heard this song. But that is about to change.

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Hours past “Midnights”: a (very late) review of Taylor Swift’s newest album

Hours past “Midnights”: a (very late) review of Taylor Swift’s newest album

The day that Fancy Boys Club went live, Taylor Swift released Lover. Since then, I have reviewed every album she has released since then. Unlike Jordan Holmes. whose series known as “The Swiftening” was an aggressive evisceration of her entire catalog, I have been able to find positive highlights in all of the music from pop’s reigning queen. However, today, when thinking about the song “Cruel Summer”, finally released as a single, I slowly realized something: I had forgotten to review Midnights, Swift’s tenth studio album which came out nine months ago.

Whoopsidoodles.

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Fancy Boys Go To The Movies: Fast X

Fancy Boys Go To The Movies: Fast X

(Author’s note: Per usual, I have kept to my principal of having this review be as spoiler-free as possible. For the most part, if it isn’t in the trailer, I won’t talk about any specifics in the review.)

With the 11th film in The Fast & Furious franchise (ten stand-alone films plus Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw), it would be easy for director Louis Leterrier’s debut in this series to be very paint by numbers. All he would have to do is let Vin Diesel be the ultimate driving and fighting machine (and family man) that he is and let the other supporting players support him. But Leterrier, replacing Justin Lin (who left the film citing creative differences) shows us that he has a few tricks up his sleeve. His Fast X features four Oscar-winning actors, a ton of new characters (for better or worse), and the most fun and exciting new addition that Fast & Furious have given us since their best film (more on that later).

But perhaps the most impressive thing Leterrier has done was to realize that the last film, F9, was severely flawed. And you can see him making the effort in Fast X to fix those problems. Which is not to say that this film doesn’t have issues: it’s bloated (while, somehow, not giving most characters enough to do), too absurd, and has some moments that are laughable, and not in a good way.

It’s also a whole ton of fucking fun.

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