A Godking Could Bleed: The Night Allen Iverson Humbled Michael Jordan (for a few seconds)

A Godking Could Bleed: The Night Allen Iverson Humbled Michael Jordan (for a few seconds)

Mythology in America is a funny concept. Sure, there have been people here for millennia and they all passed down stories and legends, but in relation to Middle-East and Mediterranean lore, our bowl sits nearly bare. Sports fill that void as the gladiators of modern times give life to moments that transcend just a game. The moment in question signaled a sea change in NBA history. On March 12, 1997, the Chicago Bulls were on their way to their second straight title, fresh off the undisputed greatest season in basketball history. They were at the height of their powers. But their superstar, the face of the sport, was aging. Before there was “The Last Dance,” there was a question as to when the great Michael Jordan would finally show cracks in the armor. Philadelphia had The Answer.

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Power Rankings: Tiger King

Power Rankings: Tiger King

At a time when one specific topic is all we can think, talk, read, or write about, one documentary came into our lives to save the day. Now, the sensation known as Tiger King has taken America by storm and definitely harmed our already bruised reputation worldwide. It is, quite possibly, the most important thing available to stream right now.

By all means, don’t read on if you have not completed the journey through the Netflix documentary. Spoilers abound. The following is my opinion and not the opinion of the Fancy Boys at large. In fact, most of the staff has no interest in watching Tiger King. Yours truly bit that bullet for you and loved every minute of it. Please, if you have any problems with my rankings, kiss my ass. I have 224 motherfucking tigers.

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As Sure As There Is Winter: The 2021 Olympic Summer Games

As Sure As There Is Winter: The 2021 Olympic Summer Games

I am 33 years old. I first remember watching the Olympics when I was 5, though I had no idea what was happening. There was a magic to the Games, though. A sense that, even for a few weeks, the world can appreciate the best of what we are. I don’t know if it’s growing older or the feeling that the world keeps getting darker, but 2020 needed the Olympics. This morning, Japan Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and International Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach agreed in principle to postpone the Games until the summer of ’21 in effort to forego the danger of exacerbating the COVID pandemic. It is the right decision, but I’ll tell you, True Believers, it hurts.

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Carpe Noctem: The Ballad of Geoff Blum

Carpe Noctem: The Ballad of Geoff Blum

A baseball season can seem so long that a single plate appearance can seem largely insignificant. As summer’s long days turn cold and the importance of each game grows, pressure can change a batter’s approach. This is the essence of what you might hear as “postseason experience,” that enigmatic entity that seems to benefit some and forsake others. Perhaps there is little to all of that. If given only one opportunity at the highest stage, a player should, by that theory, crumble. But when the sample size is as low as possible, the predictability of the result is thrown into chaos. If given one at-bat in the World Series with the game in the balance, how would you fare? For Geoff Blum, the opportunity was there, all he had to do was decide what to do with it.

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A Game for the Age of COVID-19 (or) Sports Are Dead, What Do We Do Now?

A Game for the Age of COVID-19 (or) Sports Are Dead, What Do We Do Now?

This is, and I’m not overreacting here, the most batshit crazy week in sports history. A week ago right now, there was concern that some major sporting events would be played without fans present. Then the avalanche, triggered by Adam Silver’s declaration that the NBA would suspend play for the foreseeable future. So now what? The sole reason I’m fine with paying for satellite TV is gone. The CDC has advised we avoid each other at all costs. So how do we satisfy our sports addiction while also staying safe? Folks, if you’ve ever yelled “KOBE” while shooting trash into a wastebasket, you’re at least somewhat prepared for these perilous times.

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If Cartoons Were Walking Around In Our World Right Now, You Would Not Be Chill About It

If Cartoons Were Walking Around In Our World Right Now, You Would Not Be Chill About It

I will start by saying I have no plans to see Sonic the Hedgehog, but I morally support the career of James Marsden. He is now a two-time cartoon-in-reality film star. Prior to Sonic, Marsden was in the brutally-seasonal Easter Bunny film, Hop.

Cartoons interacting with the real world is no new venture, but sometimes I get the feeling that our human counterparts are too damn chill about being in the presence of a sentient drawing.

Let me be clear- if this happened to you, the only result is instantaneous cardiac arrest.

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The NBA had PLENTY of Time to Prepare for Zion Lateef Williamson

The NBA had PLENTY of Time to Prepare for Zion Lateef Williamson

Now let me pray to keep you from
The perils that will surely come
See life for you my prince has just begun

Ms. Lauryn Hill, “To Zion”

I was asked a few times yesterday what I thought Zion Williamson would have to average per game in order to steal the rookie of the year award from Ja Morant. My answer was, of course, absurd. I said 22 points, 10 rebounds, 6 assists. Last night was Zion’s long-awaited debut. He didn’t hit 22/10/6, but uh… he made that look extremely possible.

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The Music of Star Wars, Episode VI: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

The Music of Star Wars, Episode VI: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Author’s note: When I took this project on, I did not take into account the fact that I would have little means to write about the score for The Rise of Skywalker without (a) writing out a lot of spoilers and (b) having any accuracy for cues without seeing the movie at least three times. So it’s January, and Star Wars hype has cooled, so lets dust off this saga and continue.

So… some stuff happened in that second movie, I guess. I was a chore to get through, but there was that lovely theme as well as some allusions to themes established in the original trilogy. So in Revenge of the Sith, we the viewers finally get to the destination we knew we would arrive at someday. This is the “good one” of the prequel trilogy, but let us not lose sight of how much we rationalize when that label is applied. This movie, much like The Phantom Menace has a scene at the end that almost fools you into believing you didn’t waste your time. In that scene, John Williams is at his best.

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Picking the NBA Team of the Decade, No All-Stars Allowed

Picking the NBA Team of the Decade, No All-Stars Allowed

Back in December, the NBA world was bombarded with content about the team of the decade, like it’s somehow profound to decide that LeBron James, Steph Curry, and Kevin Durant are in fact worthy of that distinction. Great, that’s cool, and I’ve read them all despite redundancy. But what about the guys who worked their ass off all decade long and never made it to the All-Star Game? They’re the real heroes, holding the Association together while the stars tear it apart.

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The NBA was not prepared for Temetrius Jamel Morant

The NBA was not prepared for Temetrius Jamel Morant

“Tell that motherfucker about me,” said the rookie point guard. He had just been challenged to take an open three by James Harden, Tuesday night in Memphis. Harden, one of the game’s premier shooters, tried to get into the head of Morant. Instead, he boosted the confidence of a young man who had already proven himself on the big stage. Even in the age where (almost) everyone can shoot the deep ball, where (almost) everyone has some sort of deceptive layup package, the NBA was still not prepared for Ja Morant.

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