Roughneck Report – Take 4

Woot. Woot… and Woot.

Yes, Roughneck fans, and you know who you are you Rowdies, the Roughnecks are undefeated! You know what that means, yep – they have yet to lose a game!

Un•de•feat•ed: not defeated, especially in a battle or other contest.

The Houston Roughnecks rolled into Dallas like a drunk tumbleweed on acid and demolished the retched Renegades. Oh sure the final score, 27-20, and those pesky factual stats that indicated it was a close game doesn’t seem like a ‘demolishing,’ but let me tell you those Roughnecks made sure they demolished the Renegades in their head! Yes, a complete psychological ass-kicking especially to…

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Roughneck Report, Take 3

Okay Roughneck Rowdies (not sure of you are aware as an avid Roughneck fan you are a Rowdy, but – according to me – you are) our team’s ride into Tampa proved to be a rough one. I suspect it was all due to repeated visits to Taco Bus, but somehow they came out on top 34-27.

Yes they are still undefeated, but there are issues. The Roughneck D allowed the Vipers O to score 27 points – over twice as much as they scored in total the first two games. Allowing Marc Trestman’s shaky offense to put up points plus fang them for nearly 400 yards is a bad omen for week 4, Rowdies. The game was a back and forth affair. We had the ball, they had the ball, we had the ball again, and so forth. They scored, we scored, blah blah blah. As for Roughneck RB Nick Holley, he rushed 1 time for 1 yard, caught 2 passes for 7 yards, and made it through without breaking his back. NICK – YOU BROKE YOUR BACK – STOP PLAYING FOOTBALL! GEEZ!

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Roughneck Report, Take 2

Well football fans, or XFL fans as this game certainly has the feel of football but is throwing my sports clock off by having football this time of year, it looks as if the Houston Roughnecks are for real. Two wins, zero losses have them tied atop the league with evil DC Defenders.

Now the Oilers – again look at the logo, that’s no Roughneck to me that’s an oil derrick and that means Oilers – have to go on the road for the next two games. Their road record so far, standing at 0 wins and 0 losses, simply means their inexperience on the road may hurt them.

The game this Saturday is against the venomous Tampa Bay Vipers, and this is what they will face as challenges:
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NHL: The Two Tirds report

Hey motherpuckers, we are back! The NHL All-Star game has come and gone, and each team’s odd seven-to-ten-day break is over. This is the time of the season when the NBA catches up to the NHL in terms of games played. It’s not weird, it’s just a matter of activity. Basketball has a lot of running, but the uniforms don’t carry weight. An NHL player is loaded with game armor, plus skating takes more effort than running, therefore they have more time between games. NHL season starts earlier, but the NBA always catches up.

Now that your February sports lesson is over, let’s take a look at where the NHL stands at their two-tirds mark in the season. Finally, my yard marker team, the Colorado Avalanche and you know well by now, has reached game 55, posting a magnificent shut-out 3-0 win against the Senators… then losing to the Capitals last night – FUUDDGE.. Where does that leave them in the standings? No, no, no my skate-loving friends, we check out the Eastern conference first.

Eastern Conference

Shall we take a look at who won’t make the playoffs first? Let’s do that. As predicted at the halfway point, the Detroit Red Wings are not disappointing me in their failure to do anything this season. They’re fortunate they can remember how to lace up skates, let alone play hockey. The others? We have the New Jersey Devils, who used to be the Colorado Rockies… and may as well have been the baseball Colorado Rockies the way they’re playing… and the aforementioned Ottawa Senators… who the Colorado Avalanche just shut out. To complete this trifecta of tenuous relationships between the bottom three and the Avalanche, let’s harken back to when the Dead Wings were good and the Avalanche cared enough to hate them. Sit back, have a Stroh’s or a Coors, and enjoy this clip. If the link doesn’t work, just type in ‘Patrick Roy vs Mike Vernon” and that’ll get you there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7LZbJhi6Fo

Oh and BTW, we are going to add one more team. I believe it is time to knock on the arena door of the Buffalo Sabres and let them know the climb to get into the playoffs is too steep for them at this point so forget about it. They’ve sunk like a rock since the halfway point, going from the 8th spot down to 13th. Zoinks, Scoob! As for the rest…

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XFL Roughneck Report: Houston Roughnecks take the Los Angeles Wildcats by the Nape

XFL Roughneck Report: Houston Roughnecks take the Los Angeles Wildcats by the Nape

Before we get into taking a look at what happened Saturday for game 1, let’s just have an introduction – call it a post-first game introduction – to these Houston Roughnecks. Starting with the logo – a logo looking suspiciously like the old Houston Oilers logo so my assumption is the same “designer” who created this also created Trump’s Space Force logo… or is that Space Farce, I forget. Let’s start with…

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I give you Props: Proposition bets for LIV

Hey kids, as you may well know – or not depending upon your life I guess – Super Bowl LIV is this Sunday. Who’s playing? It’s the Chiefs and the 49ers, but really who cares? This isn’t about who wins, but who makes money.

No, I’m not going to go on and on about which square to pick on the party or office grid to win sweet cash each quarter that eventually gets claimed victory by Francine the receptionist who generally hopes the team whose quarterback has the better-looking ass wins.

However, ladies and gents, that winner could be you using a different form of betting. And if you have the propensity to gamble your life away, why not do it watching a game rather than sitting at a roulette table quietly praying to your desired Lord to make that ball hit 22 Black? WARNING: No bet is a surefire thing (they are about as surefire a thing as a long-lasting marriage), but there are some Super Bowl bets you may want to make to try and expand your pocketbook.

How does one make some coin you may ask? With a proposition bet. A proposition bet, short form prop bet, is one where a person such as yourself puts some money down on an occurrence… or non-occurrence… happening during any game, but especially the Super Bowl.

There are more than 400 prop bets you can make. Heck no I am not going to go over all of them, but let’s check out a few that aren’t the typical “Will so-and-so score a touchdown in the first half” kind of prop bets.

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What is going on with you MLB?

So last week I was in Tampa on a work trip. Not that I didn’t have access to any news or sports or news on sports, most of Florida does – even if a lot of Florida can’t access anything but Fox News judging by the billboards in Tampa – I did. I was tired.

But Wednesday I was in the hotel lobby waiting for my work comrades when one of them came up to me and said the Astros had fired their manager and general manager. Whoa… and whoa. In my best Montreal Expos accent I said ‘pourquoi?’

Cheating.

And…

Cheating. Spying. Stealing signs.

And…

Rob Manfred is having none of it.

Now Rob is the baseball commissioner, so he has the right to do what he thinks is best for baseball. He’s drawing a hard line – there will be no cheating in baseball. What you may ask? What? Of course, there should be no cheating in baseball, right?

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The MLB’s Hot Stove League – The January Report

January’s come in with a select amount of subtlety, but in the MLB it’s been quite the wild whirling dervish of deals and free agent signings. Before I get to what individual team got and still needs, let’s take a trip around the horn and see where the big names landed like a big lake trout on a dish. Trout sounds so good right now.

Garret Cole. OK. Fine. I was wrong. Are you happy I admitted it? I thought for certain he was going to be an Angel, but neigh he decided to become a devil, AKA a Yankee. Curse you Cole!

Stephen Strasburg. I was correct, stuck with the Nationals. Bite me.

Anthony Rendon. The biggest stick in the free agent class went to the Angels. Now he’s paired with Mike Trout (which still sounds good BTW). Good golly that’ll be fun to watch!

Madison Bumgarner – I’m as giddy he didn’t go to the Twins as I am mad he went to the Diamondbacks. C’mon MadBum! Why those desert bums? Why?!

Hyu-Jin Ryu – Left baseball to start a Korean BBQ franchise called Ryu’s Ribs. OK. Fine. He signed with the Blue Jays. Canadians love Koreans, primarily due to the alliteration.

Didi Gregorius – And I was right. He went to the Phillies to re-join Joe Girardi… and to get a cheese steak.

Corey Kluber – once the ace of the Indians staff, he was traded to the Rangers for a sack of beads.

Eric Thames – not quite a huge deal as he signed a 1-year contract with the Nationals, but what’s significant is he is yet another player who doesn’t want to play for the Brew Crew… or he got tired of all that Usinger’s Sausage.

Tommy Pham – good news is the Tampa Rays traded him from a fan base whose median age is 80 to San Diego whose fan base is a youthful 77. Bad news? You have to be a Brown Shirt now, dude.

Rick Porcello – signed with the Mets. All of Boston breathed a huge sigh of relief, and ordered a pie.

Dallas Kuechel – former CY Young award winner who sat out most of last year signed with the White Sox. Fingers crossed he enjoys Sox Park, and deep dish pizza.

And who has yet to find a team?

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My Best TV of 2019

TV has quite the broad spectrum these days. If I were an actual TV critic, imagine the amount of tax deductions I’d have subscribing to everything from Amazon Prime to Zee TV. Frankly I didn’t even know Zee TV existed and I’m pretty sure it exists primarily for me to have a complete A to Z joke.

Allow me to take you through a ‘best of’ similar to watching 3+ hours of god-awful backslapping known as the Emmys without actually having to watch the Emmys. Did you know there are nearly 100 Emmy categories? Holy crap these people love to congratulate one another. Relax. I’m only hitting the highlights I want to hit. Let’s start with a couple you won’t see given out while you’d eat your gourmet popcorn and watch:

Outstanding Cinematography

Oklahoma is Oklahoma, so Watchmen, you’re out. I’m throwing Chernobyl a radioactive bone here because it’s got to win something, right? Can’t understand why all the Russkis had British accents, but the dreariness of a nuclear disaster was just how I imagined it would be, along with the patently dull British clothing, so it wins for Outstanding Period Costumes too (yes, that’s a category).

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NHL at 50% Report

Hello hockey fans! We’re now sitting – more for some teams, less for others – at the halfway point of the season as the Avalanche, my yard marker team, has just played their 41st game. They beat the pants off the Western Conference-leading St. Louis Blues, BTW. A 7-3 iceberg crasher.

I’ll try to build upon the Tirty Tree and a Tird Percentage report and see where how our playoff teams would be set up if we were to end the season right now.

Eastern Conference

OK, let’s toss a wrench in this. Before we actually look at current playoff teams, let’s cut out the ones that – unless there’s a huge ice floe having never occurred before in this league – have no chance of making the playoffs. Buh-bye any teams under 40 points for the season: Ottawa, New Jersey and the team that, if there were such a thing as being bumped into a lesser league ought to be – the Detroit Red Wings. Good Lord of the two-line pass they are awful. Normally a team stands a chance of making the playoffs if they can get to 90 points. At the 50% mark, the Dead Wings are at 23 points. Historically awful.

On to the playoff-making teams. Last time we checked in, the Eastern Conference playoff teams at the third mark stood at: Washington Capitals, Boston Bruins, New York Islanders, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Carolina Hurricanes, Florida Panthers and the Buffalo Sabres.

Well, hockey fans, let me tell you, at the halfway point the Easter Conference leaders are:

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