The Grammys have just wrapped up. A night of Tracy Chapman and Billy Joel(both of which I very much care about) and..well pretty much everything else I don’t. While Miley Cyrus went to her hair stylist and said “Give me the Wynona Judd, 1989 edition” while operating sans undergarments (like Wynona Judd in 1989), a beauty came across the stage to regale herself in the “Album of the Year” victory most foresaw.
Taylor Swift isn’t so much an artist as a small nation. She is a blonde haired Che Guevara in the way she incites her followers. While she has become the angst of the Republican Party (and I love her so, so much for it) one nagging thing has always burdened her career: Has She Been Stealing Her Song Lyrics From GWAR?
For those outside of the know, GWAR is a heavy metal band that wears gregarious costumes and sings pop(ish) songs about society falling into an industrial grade blender.
Why would Taylor Swift, known to have upwards of a dozen co-writers herself try to plagiarize this band? Shut the fuck up, you are already asking too many questions.
As we trudge into Super Bowl week, Swift is back in the forefront of the talk of the glitterati as she carries on a relationship with Kansas City Chiefs tight end and 2024 Fantasy team ruiner Travis Kelce. So what better time than now to bring back one of the most popular posts in Fancy Boys Club history, “Whose Lyric is It, Taylor Swift or GWAR?”
“Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise it would be called sure-thing-taking”
Is it Taylor Swift or Gwar
It’s neither. That quote is from the funky QB Jim McMahon. McMahon quarterbacked the Chicago Bears to one of the most one sided defeats in Super Bowl history, as his Chicago squad beat the New England Patriots 46-10.
“Talent sets the floor. Character sets the ceiling.”
Is it Taylor Swift or Gwar
Well, there are rumors this statement was said by GWAR bassist Beefcake The Mighty before a rather ruthless gig in Minneapolis in 1997, this is officially attributed to Bill Belichik, noted now more for his inability to handle concepts like drafting and “offense without Tom Brady” than his ability to recite GWAR lyrics. Though it should be noted that Belichik was an early convert to GWAR’s music during his time in Cleveland, and that he also sometimes referred to himself as “Billy Slutman.”
“Winning is not everything. But making the effort to win is.”
Is it Taylor Swift or Gwar
Gwar. Wait. Taylor Swift. No that can’t be right? Taylor definitely said this on her 1989 album. Here is the problem. While she was singing this about her getting turned down sexually by Red Hot Chili Peppers lead singer Anthony Keidis, it’s actually a quote from one of the greatest coaches of all time, Vince Lombardi. And even Lombardi is misquoted on this. Most people believe he said “Winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.” Ironically, Lombardi was also referencing not having sex with Anthony Keidis.
“I see your profile and your smile on unsuspecting waiters. Your dream of my mouth before I called you a lying traitor.”
Is it Taylor Swift or Gwar
This gets complicated. While most think this came from Taylor’s version of 1989, many football historians actually believe this was screamed by Brett Favre after winning Super Bowl XXXI. The truth is, this is ACTUALLY a GWAR lyric from 1995. It was first uttered during an unusually riotous show in Reno, Nevada. Many GWAR historians look back to this moment as the first time Taylor would steal the lyrics of this band.
“I need a hole, I don’t need no hips, I laid a line of coke out on her tits.”
Is it Taylor Swift or GWAR
This was definitely Taylor Swift. She was mad at Kristen Ritter.
“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.”
Is it Taylor Swift or GWAR
While I’m incredibly aware that Taylor said this exact thing during her victory speech at the Grammys on Sunday night, it did not come from her. It actually comes from Lou Holtz, long time football coach. What most people don’t know is that Holtz was a founding member of GWAR, but went under the stage name of Oderus Urungus.
Fancy Boys Club 