I’m not sure Elon Musk has had a good week since he bought Twitter, but this last seven days has been especially bad for him.
With sites like Bluesky and Mastodon off and running as well as what feels like Musk’s own sabotage, Twitter is no longer the cool social media app to be on. The platform, at its height, represented everything the internet could be: a great community filled with laugh and smart ideas and fun. Musk has gotten rid of those and added more nazis and things he wants you to pay for.
Then, with Threads (Mark Zuckerberg’s foray into mini-blogs) revealed a week ago, Musk watched as his site’s numbers cratered while users signed up in droves for what was called the Fediverse, which is sadly not a social media site all about Kevin Federline. Elon handled this in a manner that could only be called “predictable to Elon”, calling the Zuck a cuck and then returning to Twitter 8 hours later to challenge him to have their penises measured.
Look, I should dislike Musk. And I do. That turd bought a thing I liked and turned it into something I like dramatically less. But there’s also another feeling I cannot help but have when I look at his behavior. And that’s pity.
Because right now, Elon Musk has BDE. Big Divorce Energy.
And let me tell you, I have been there.
Though the two were never officially married, Elon Musk ended a relationship with Canadian pop weirdo Grimes back in 2021. And it clearly has had an effect on him. And I definitely recognize the behavior as all of the classic signs of Big Divorce Energy. Is Musk intentionally misbehaving in the secret hope that the people closest to him will reach out and ask if he’s ok? Yes. Has he made any rash or ill-advised purchases? Duh. Does he seem to get a rush from being disliked by people because it amplifies how he feels about himself? Clearly. Because of that, does he go out of his way to deliberately be a dick to people?
I think you know the answer.
I think a lot of divorced dudes, a category which I belong to, recognize the behavior. The difference between me and Elon is that he has a lot more money and his outbursts are covered in the press and looked at by shareholders. I remember that following my divorce, a bad day would involve spending a lot of time of twitter saying horrible things in the hopes anyone would reach out to me. But, if I had Musk’s money, I just would have also bought the whole fucking site, also. (I would remind the audience that FBC also broke the news that Musk only bought twitter because he was jealous of how much Grimes loved my account.)
It should also be pointed that Musk has tweeted 51 times in the past 24 hours. This is called having your sad cake and crying in it while you eat it, too.
Look, I’m not saying to not think Elon is a dick. He, clearly, wants you to think that. But it’s also kind of obvious why: he doesn’t feel good about himself. It would be sadder if it didn’t involve ruining something cool. If Elon is reading this, I just want to say: I feel you, man. And I’m here if you want to chat.
Also, one thing is crystal clear: Grimes has 100% won this breakup.
Fancy Boys Club 