Fancy Boys Football: Mailbag Week 6

Week 6 of the NFL season is in the books. Matt Drufke has questions. Fancy Boys Football expert Jack Baker has the answers. Let’s mailbag.

I understand good NFL teams and I understand OK NFL teams, but I don’t understand the New York Jets. They’re 0-6 and have been outscored 185-75. They’re third to last in offense. How does a failing of this magnitude happen? Are they just not talented? Are they poorly schemed? What is the reason this Jets team suck so badly? And, what (if any) bright spot do they have?

The Jets are the least talented team in football, have the worst coach in football, and are either tanking hard for Trevor Lawrence or their owner is too busy working to get Trump reelected to notice. They traded their best defensive lineman at the trade deadline last season, their best player this offseason, and cut their best offensive player this week because Bill O’Brien wasn’t around to trade another draft pick for him. The QB they traded a whole bunch of draft picks for is washed and seeing ghosts. Safety Marcus Maye caught an INT with his butt. That’s what passes for a bright spot these days.

With the season a third over already, let’s talk about outliers to the data. Which team with a winning record is the most likely to have a losing record come the end of the season? And which team with a losing record is the most likely to turn it around and have a winning record?

As much as it pains me to say it, the most likely losing team to end the season with a winning record is whoever ends up winning the NFC East if, and that’s a big if, they’re able to make it 9-7. They have so many games against each other that one team should eventually emerge out of that hell hole.

The winning team most likely to end with a losing record is the Browns. Although they have 4 wins right now, their QB is hurt and got benched, they’re the only team with two losses of more than 28 points. Also, they’re the Browns.

Only three teams left with perfect records: the Steelers, Titans, and Seahawks. Who loses first? And can any of these teams go undefeated?

None of them will go undefeated. It’s just too difficult these days, and also the Titans and Steelers play each other this Sunday. I think the Titans will lose last, just because they have Derrick Henry and the other teams don’t.

We talked about the Jets earlier; let’s talk about the QBs for the team that beat them. Tua Tagovailoa got some snaps for the first time in Miami’s win over New York. You could say the Dolphins were trying everything, much like the Shakira song “Try Everything” from the hit movie Zootopia. Just how good can Tagovailoa be? And when will the Dolphins look to boot Ryan Fitzpatrick and let their young QB take the reins?

Tua can be great, if he stays healthy. The Dolphins have been surprisingly competitive with Fitzmagic at the helm and will probably keep the job until the Dolphins bye week.

This is where you tell me how the Bears go 15-1, then win the Super Bowl. Then tell me what the name of their Super Bowl song is.

This isn’t a question. But if the Bears were to go 15-1, the defense would have to get back to scoring like its 2018 again, the running game would have to do anything, Foles would have to stop throwing dumb interceptions, and Allen Robinson would have to finally win a jump ball. I’d like to think they could come up with something fun and creative, but they’d probably just end up remixing the Super Bowl Shuffle.

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