Fancy Boys Football Week 5 Mailbag

Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.

Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.

The Raiders outlasted the Bears in a game played in London that could only be described as “bad football”. But I don’t want to talk about what happened so much as I want to talk about WHERE it happened. Why does the NFL play a game in London every year? Is American football that popular in Europe? And is there any reason we want to watch our favorite athletes seem jet-lagged and sluggish?

Brandon – YOU HAVE TO BUILD THE BRAND! Honestly, its all very stupid. You can watch the NFL in Europe on a TV. It’s not like we are breaking new ground here, like England trying to take over countries in the 1500’s. It’s always a bad brand of football. What makes it worse is, sometimes these games start at 7 or 9 am. Instead they marched it out for a noon start time, meaning I couldn’t even enjoy good football.

Jack – The NFL plays 4 games a year in London, 1 in Mexico (unless the field is so bad they have to cancel) and will soon play at least 1 a year in Germany for the same reason they do anything else: to make shitloads of money. That’s it. They don’t care about the quality of play–have you seen a Thursday Night Football game?–they don’t care about player safety, they only care about money. And they make lots of it.

As of this writing, the San Francisco 49ers are undefeated, the Saints took care of Tampa Bay, and the Packers beat Dallas pretty handily on Sunday. Are these the three teams that make up the best of the NFC? Among these three, who is the best? And who could challenge these teams as a sleeper team?

Brandon – I’d say the Top 3 in the NFC right now are the Packers, Saints, and Seahawks. If the 49ers come out tonight and stomp the Browns, THEN they are in the conversation. Every team in the NFC is flawed in some way, but the Saints are doing it without Drew Brees, so when he comes back, the NFC goes through them. In terms of sleepers? Id say the Lions, but they are far too poorly coached, so I’ll go with the Panthers, who look really good with Kyle Allen at quarterback.

Jack – Right now the NFC is the Saints followed by everyone else. What they’ve been able to do without Drew Brees has been extremely impressive. They’re defense is legit and they’ll probably be favored against the Bears no matter who starts at QB for either team. The Eagles are probably the second best team in the conference if we ignore records. They’re really talented on both sides of the ball and I wouldn’t be shocked to see them taking on the Saints in the NFC Championship game. I’ll take the Seahawks in third because Russell Wilson is a goddamn magician.

The Buffalo Bills are 4-1, and their only loss was a close game against New England. Which is more surprising: that this team is an AFC contender despite Josh Allen having a very mediocre season so far, or that Frank Gore is still an effective running back at the age of 74 (age not fact-checked)?

Brandon – Gore. There is a reason running backs don’t get paid anymore. They break down too quickly. We have watched great running backs like Priest Holmes and Shaun Alexander peak, then be out of football three years later. What Gore is doing is insanely rare and frankly fun to watch.

Jack – I’m not surprised by either. The Bills had a great defense last year and a great defense is always good enough to carry a shitty offense to a winning record against a weak schedule (cough 2018 Bears cough). Frank Gore is just doing what he always does. He trains with all the best young running backs every offseason and takes it as a personal affront if they ever beat him in a drill. He’s a machine and will rightfully be enshrined in Canton one day.

In the Battle For The Bottom, which team is more likely to win a game first: The Jets, The Dolphins, The Bengals, or The Redskins? And, just to be nice, say one thing about each team that can give their fans hope.

Brandon -The Redskins and Dolphins are playing this week, and as much as Im praying for a tie, I think the Redskins get their first win. Nice things…

Bengals – AJ Green will (probably) be back soon, giving the team plenty of offense while their defense gives up 40 points every week.

Jets – Sam Darnold will return from a disease nobody over the age of 16 should ever get, and this team will manage to win 4 games.

Redskins – Maybe owner Dan Snyder will fall into a tiger cage at the zoo.

Dolphins – You are an embarrassing football black hole from which no entertainment escapes. Hopefully Florida sinks before anyone is subjected to watching another game.

Jack – Once Sam Darnold returns from his bout with the kissing disease, the Jets will be a pretty solid football team. They’re defense is great and they have a talented group of weapons on offense. They also play the Dolphins twice, so that’s two wins at least this year. The only reason fans of The Dolphins, Bengals and the Washington Racists should be hopeful is that the draft is only 6 and a half months away.

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