The NFL season has kicked off and people around the world are ready for the new season. Stadiums will be jam-packed with fans. So many people at Fancy Boys Club have strong opinions about this year’s NFL season, but they’re all wrong.
I love the NFL. There’s nothing more exciting than watching the team get into the huddle to plan their attack, getting lined up, and knocking the bag with the classic Joker move into a 3-point conversion. Is there anything more exciting than the National Footbag League?
Starting tonight, you can check out the Dakota Deadheads vs. Denver Danknugs for the 10th season of the NFL. But that’s not the only match you should pay attention to. Here are the 5 best matches to keep your eye on this year.
1. Jacksonville High School Dropouts vs. Vancouver Vapes
Sure, Vancouver’s recent expansion team isn’t on most people’s radar but they picked up Tribby “Lotso” Moonrider in the off-season, and he is a player who could bring the team to the Super-High Bowl. Don’t count out Jacksonville though. After a rough off season of being arrested for Florida things, this team is back on the right track and #58, Tuggins, is ready to play.
2. San Jose Rich Kids vs. A Flock of Ducks
The annual “Beat an animal’s ass” match should be a good one as Colin McWentworth’s Rich Kids take on those ducks that have been shitting all over your backyard. Take that, ducks.
3. Steve Bannon’s Bannonboys vs. Vancouver Vapes
Another expansion team on the list? Yes sir! The Bannonboys may be the least attractive, most unfuckable team in the NFL, but they have an undying passion for the sack. I can’t wait to see Vancouver’s Moonrider do a dipsy-trop all over the Bannonboys.
4. A Phish Concert
This year’s Phish Concert takes place in the Mile High City, featuring the Danknugs as the backup band. After last year’s bad weed infection, security will be tight, so if you plan on going, please make sure to have your pot tested by security before going into the show.
5. This Year’s 2AM Match: The Cast of Party of Five vs. Portland Weirdfucks
Can the cast of Party of Five win it all again? You’ll find out during this year’s 2AM match, if you can stay awake for it. Airing living from a bridge in rural Kentucky, Portland’s 8th best NFL team tries to take down the champs. Can Lacey Chabert and Matthew Fox power through the mediocre offense from Captain Silly Billy Dilly Chili Ha Ha Chowdown? Who knows?
Those are the matches you need to watch. A few of these will air on public access TV. You should figure that out. I also don’t know the dates for these matches. You can look that up yourself too.