Author: The Fancy Boys

A fun blog by fun people. Welcome to the club. Wipe your feet. Let's get fancy.
politics

Dream Big, Why Not? – written by Jordan Holmes

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Dream Big, Why Not? – written by Jordan Holmes

You have no imagination and you have less courage. Ah ha, you say, we get it, finally, let’s replace Biden, we’ve heard you!

Here’s what we’ll do, we’ll give Biden… but 20 years younger, or a woman, or something else, but at the end of the day, our idea is DO THE SAME FUCKING THING AGAIN! We are very smart. What are our ideas? I know, do the same fucking thing again. What’s our platform? Do the same fucking thing again, led by Biden who is 20 years younger or a woman or something else. 

Why are you accepting that? Why, if now is the time to dream big, if now is the crisis point where we can influence the direction of the party, why would you dream of shit? Why not say the next President should be someone willing to say Go Fuck Yourself to an oil executive. What’s in Project 2025 is terrifying… because some of it is in everyone’s 2025 plan. 

Do you think that push for deregulation is going to be stifled by people who could already do so? Why aren’t you dreaming of something impossible if you already think winning is impossible? 

If you think getting a toy horse is impossible, you might as well dream of a real one. 

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politics

Relax, Say “Top Democrats” – written by Jordan Holmes

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Relax, Say “Top Democrats” – written by Jordan Holmes

This is what I was hoping to hear. Ezra Klein says that Top Democrats say something like, “I don’t know why all these Democrats who think Donald Trump is an existential threat to democracy are acting the way they are. But the reason I’m acting the way I am is because I don’t think that.” 

Phew! All of you are fucking stupid. Do you get it? You think Democracy is On the Ballot, but it is actually not on the ballot. So relax. “Top Democrats” think something one way or the other according to some guy. Whatever you were thinking is stupid. Now what you should be thinking is that everything is actually fine.

This is just a social media game everyone is playing with you. Democracy isn’t on the ballot! Democracy never was. There is no such thing in America. 

Stop fighting with people! Stop fighting with people who think that Democracy is on the Ballot. Why? They’re lying to you!

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politics

Be A Religion – written by Jordan Holmes

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Be A Religion – written by Jordan Holmes

If a religion is against you, be a religion. A religion is just a group large enough to impose reality on its members. If your religion is just reality, you don’t have to impose on anyone. 

People from the past were dumb. The philosophers were dumb. When you talk about Aristotle you are talking about Joe Rogan. Stop it. 

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politics

We’re Tight – written by Jordan Holmes

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We’re Tight – written by Jordan Holmes

Ugh, I hate how he keeps telling us to do shit, like he’s so fucking great, like he’s so fukcing smort, like he’s the most morally righteous dude ever. 

First off, let me take you through the past few elections and the past few times we’ve had this argument. I understand that my language and strident, frankly insulting tone is strident and, frankly insulting, but when you make the lesser of two evils argument, remember what your words mean.

Your words mean that if I do not do what you think is not evil, then I am evil. You are calling me evil, it does not feel like conversation when you make the lesser of two evils argument at me, it feels like extortion. It feels like that for a ton of people, a ton of people you are most likely making the lesser of two evils argument to right now. You are not helping. You are insulting these people!

Why do you think it’s ok to call me evil? Did you forget that to disagree with you, is to disagree with you morally, perhaps not practically, but everyone knows, somewhere, that there is something more important than practicality.

I’m not insulting you because I want to hurt you, I am insulting you because I am talking to you the way it feels like you have been talking to me. Do you understand why these arguments are so useless now? What conversation are we having? Are we having a practical conversation now? That sounds useful!

Jordan, what the fuck are you doing?

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politics

Your Words Are Weak – written by Jordan Holmes

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Your Words Are Weak – written by Jordan Holmes

You can’t swear, so you already lost. You can’t fight back. You can’t fight back against a weapon that you neither have nor understand. You can’t argue with me, because I’m made of weird, wordy weapons. 

What do you have to say that doesn’t deserve the word “fuck” in 2024? So why can’t you say it? 

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politics

What Are You? – written by Jordan Holmes

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What Are You? – written by Jordan Holmes

If I do not support you, if I do not agree with you, if I do not vote for Biden, then I am responsible for Trump being elected, correct? And if I am responsible for Trump being elected, I am responsible for his actions, correct? If I am the one to be responsible for his actions if he is elected, what happens if I vote for Biden and he is elected? Am I responsible for the things Trump didn’t do? Or am I responsible for the things Biden did do? 

If you are arguing that for me to fight you tooth and nail, with absolutely no regard for whether I win or lose, because there’s no other option, is to take responsibility for Trump, then for you to fight me, makes you responsible for Biden. 

Here we are. Last election cycle I voted for Biden. Now I am responsible for the Palestinian genocide.

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