Most years, I do a column about who the Oscar nominees should be, and that is always fun for me, mainly because it allows me to feel smart and smug and self-righteous. But, you know what? In 2023, the Academy did a pretty good job picking the nominees. I don’t agree with all of them, but I’m onboard with most. So, I gave myself a challenge: Could I pick a slate of films and performances who deserved to be nominated while excluding all of those who were?
Like that, The Secondsies were born.
There is only one rule for The Secondsies. Anyone who is nominated for an Oscar in their category is ineligible to be nominated. This is a nice way to make sure that not just the obvious snubs got mentioned, but also to include some deserving nominees who never had a chance. I’ll present the nominees for The Secondsies and then end my Oscars prediction recap.
Let’s get re-nominating!
Best Picture
Air
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret
Blackberry
Bottoms
The Boy & The Heron
John Wick 4
The Killer
Mission: Impossible- Dead Reckoning, Part 1
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse
You Hurt My Feelings
Best Director
Ben Affleck, Air
Greta Gerwig, Barbie
Matthew Johnson, Blackberry
Hayao Miyazaki, The Boy And The Heron
Celine Song, Past Lives
Best Actress
Ayo Edebiri, Bottoms
Greta Lee, Past Lives
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, You Hurt My Feelings
Natalie Portman, May December
Margot Robbie, Barbie
BEST ACTOR
Leonardo DiCaprio, Killers Of The Flower Moon
Michael Fassbender, The Killer
Chris Pine, Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
Keanu Reeves, John Wick 4
Jason Schwartzman, Asteroid City
Best Supporting Actress
Penelope Cruz, Ferrari
Salma Hayek, Magic Mike’s Last Dance
Rachel McAdams, Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret
Rosamund Pike, Saltburn
Florence Pugh, Oppenheimer
Best Supporting Actor
Matt Damon, Oppenheimer
Glenn Howerton, Blackberry
John Magarro, Past Lives
Jason Mamoa, Fast X
Charles Melton, May December
Best Original Screenplay
Air
Bottoms
Flora & Son
Saltburn
You Hurt My Feelings
Best Adapted Screenplay
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
Godzilla Minus One
Killers Of The Flower Moon
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
Final Oscar Prediction Recap
In its thirteen nominations, Oppenheimer is competitive in all but Best Supporting Actress. I have the film having a huge night winning eight. I think there is a chance it takes home Best Adapted Screenplay, and if that happens, it could make a run at all twelve it has a chance to win. The only other film I have winning multiple Oscars is Barbie, though that film is in tight competition with Poor Things for the technical awards. Here are my predictions one more time:
Oppenheimer- EIGHT OSCARS- Picture, Director, Actor, Supporting Actor, Editing, Cinematography, Score, Sound Design
Barbie- THREE OSCARS- Costume Design, Production Design, Song
The ABC’s of Book Banning- Documentary Short
American Fiction- Adapted Screenplay
American Symphony– Documentary Feature
Anatomy Of A Fall- Original Screenplay
Godzilla Minus One- Visual Effects
The Holdovers– Supporting Actress
Killers Of The Flower Moon– Actress
Letter To A Pig– Animated Short
Poor Things- Make-Up & Hairstyling
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse- Animated Feature
The Wonderful Story Of Henry Sugar– Live Action Short
Fancy Boys Club 