This weekend I made plans to do the dishes, laundry, check the mail and probably something else. Out of all four of those tasks I set out for myself to complete over the long weekend I somehow ended up at the beach.
You might be thinking oh well at least you had a fun day at the whimsical shores of The Dock at Montrose Beach. And you would be right if you were talking to a level headed, patient and optimistic individual but you’re talking to a self-loathing pale redhead man who hates the beach and wishes they could afford internet in their apartment.
I arrived at the beach and one of the first things I noticed was that I was the only one there with long pants. I began to feel isolated as my head became consumed by thoughts of insecurity. I began to feel nervous in my $13 pink button up shirt and shaved head and hoped I didn’t come off as a homosexual neo-nazi. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… half wrong with that… kinda wrong with that?…. Ignore that, moving on.
The lake was watery and I think Lake Michigan, but I’m not a cartographer. I found a nice spot to sit and enjoy some sun where I got to do some well deserved R and R by thinking of the amazing things in my life…. that I would of had IF I wasn’t such a DUMB fucking idiot that RUINS fucking everything and if I wasn’t such a DUMB FUCKING IDIOT I WOULD HAVE NICE THINGS…
….like internet.
After that I decided to stretch my legs, and I became curious. You see I was sitting on the far south side of the shoreline and then I thought to myself, “I wonder what the far NORTH side of the shore looks like?” And here began my 10-14 minute adventure across the tiny grains of happiness that just seemed to force themselves into my existence like red-light enforcement notifications in my mailbox. Except sand is harder to put off till later.
As you can see by my comparative photos the two shores are vastly different. Almost incomparable. If you came up to me and was like “Look at these lake photos, can you believe they are the same lake?”
I’d be like “Wow, no…fucking… way.”
After that the only thing left to do was make a pair of titties in the sand… which I did… I took a picture. I’m very proud of them. Montrose beach, check it out.
Fancy Boys Club 