Fancy Boys Football: Mailbag Week 11

Week 11 of the NFL season is in the books. Matt Drufke has questions. Fancy Boys Football expert Jack Baker has the answers. Let’s mailbag.

So, last year, I was all, like, “Christmas Day with the NBA is much better than Thanksgiving with the NFL” and you were all, like, “WHA?!?” and I was all, “Yeah!” and you were all “Nuh uh” and I was “Uh Huh”. Well, as if trying to prove me right, the NFL put four of the worst teams in the league in the first two games (I will grant that the evening game seems ok). So, Jack, care to change your mind?

No, Thanksgiving Football is still better than NBA Christmas because football is built into the fabric of the holiday in a way that basketball isn’t with Christmas. Thanksgiving is a day to sit in front of the TV and eat. Nothing goes better with that than watching football. The quality of the games doesn’t even really matter, I mean no one watches the Lions willingly. But give me a bully full of turkey, a piece of pumpkin pie and I’m the biggest Kenny Golladay fan around. Mostly just because he went to NIU so go Huskies!

Watching NBA basketball is so far down the list of important things to do on Christmas. Opening presents, playing with those presents, eating ham, going to the movies (in normal years), eating Chinese food, spending time with family are all more important to the holiday than Christmas. Who cares if LeBron is playing, I’ve go Super Mario 3D All Stars to worry about.

(As a note to the readers, I write these questions and send them to Jack who answers them whenever he has time. Because of this, I have no idea how Jack is going to answer the first question. However, I love Jack. He’s been a friend of mine for almost ten years. I spoke at his damn wedding. Because of this, I know Jack will make a feeble attempt to defend the garbage the NFL gives us on Turkey Day. If I’m wrong, this question will not go great.) Jack, if you’re ok with the first two Thanksgiving games, then I’m going to punish you. A third of the teams playing Thursday are from your favorite division in football, the vaunted NFC East. Tell me one good thing about each team in this division, who will win the division, and then make a case for how that team can win the Super Bowl.

LOL. The NFC East representative will win the Super Bowl if every other team dies from COVID and Jerry Jones forces the Cowboys to play in their hospital beds so they win by default.

Last Thanksgiving question. Gimme some predictions. The games are Lions-Texans, Washington-Dallas, and Steelers-Ravens. Who do you like?

I’m taking the Lions, Washington Footballers and the Steelers-Ravens game to be cancelled due to the Ravens corona outbreak.

We’re only gonna do these questions this week. However, we have not mentioned Shakira who gave us the amazing “Try Everything” from the Disney film Zootopia. So, one last question: if you had to do a NFL draft comprised of only Disney characters, who are the first three picks? And what positions do they play?

Finally a good football question!

Clearly Hercules goes #1. He’s a Greek god and Gladiator. He plays QB on offense and Edge rusher on defense. He’s like Cam Newton if his dad was Zeus and not just some guy who tried to get $100,000 for his son to play at Mississippi State.

Beast goes #2. I mean, his name is Beast for god’s sake. He’d be a mauler at guard on offense and ferocious Nose Tackle on the defensive line. He’d be like a furrier, modern day Ray Nitschke.

#3 Simba. There’d be concerns about his attitude and how much he loves the game, but the physical talents are just too much to ignore. He might take some time to learn the intracacies of the defensive end position, but you could send him in on 3rd downs as a rookie and he might lead the league in sacks.

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