Yet another beloved old cartoon and comic strip character IP (intellectual property) has come into the public domain. This time, it’s everyone’s favorite sailor man- Popeye.
Now, to be clear, while there are 2 evil Popeye movies (so far) coming this year, neither is attached to the Twisted Childhood Universe, affectionately referred to as the “Poohniverse”, which kicked off with Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey in 2023, followed by the sequel in 2024.
To be clear, those movies rule.
They take the lore of Christopher Robin and the Hundred Acre Woods gang and use it to craft a horrifying version of the classic tale, where a warm, gauzy (and faulty) childhood memory is, in adulthood, revealed to be something far darker. With gnarly kills and fun creature designs (especially with the sequel’s larger budget) plus upcoming spin-offs involving Peter Pan, Bambi, and Pinocchio, the Poohniverse films seem to be made by people with great affection for the original source material as well as the desire to pervert it.
Well that’s just proper unsettling, but I do love an evil carnival…
So, knowing that I am all in on this kind of gruesome popcorn slasher, how do I feel about these Popeye flicks? Well, let’s discuss…
Popeye the Slayer Man
First off, bonus points for the name, don’t know if they just got to it first, or if the other folks thought it was too obvious. And make no mistake, it is. But it also rules.
The character design is also gnarly, with eyes shaded by a sailor’s cap and a chin that protrudes from his face in a way that sinks his eyes even further back. And of course the forearms. If the trailer is any indication, seemingly caused by the contaminated spinach that closed down the canning factory where Popeye worked(?) and where it looks like the majority of the action will take place. That’s timely, nice way to incorporate the modern dangers of packaged produce. E. coli causes disfigured forearms and homicidal rage? I’m here for it.
The flick is populated by a gaggle of, I dunno, documentary students? They’re dumb and arrogant and ignore the warnings from the creepy old man with a foreboding warning at the local watering hole, and I imagine Popeye will make them suffer for it.
Additional bonus points for ending the trailer with the iconic “I yam what I yam” line, though, the voice leaves something to be desired. The most promising bits of this one are character design, and the spinach canning element.
Now let’s see what the competition has to offer-
Popeye’s Revenge
Right off the bat- terrible name, “revenge” in a slasher is for sequels. Also, apparently Popeye died as a child and then decided to be a grown ass sailor man to haunt some woods around a lake?
This is Jason.
You just made Jason, right down to the font design for the title card. That’s just lazy, and I recognize that I’m saying this about an obvious IP grab, but come the fuck on. Was Popeye the kid dressed in one of those little sailor outfits they make kids wear sometimes cuz they’re cute or whatever? Is that why he’s a sailor? Additionally, this one is also a documentary, but also a “cabin in the woods” situation. We get our prerequisite young (?) adults who will all be murdered brutally, and Popeye is kinda just a big dude. He’s got big forearms, but they’re nowhere near to the absurdly swollen magnitude to make this look like anything but just some burly sailor. Definite lost points there.
If I have to pick one to watch at this stage, my choice is Popeye the Slayer Man, but honestly, just go watch Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 1&2 and join me in exploring all that the Pooniverse has to offer!
So far it’s slashers based on old IP. Probably… yeah, probably just gonna be more of that.
Riki MJ Adams is a musician and FBC contributor
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